


Justice Has A Lot Of Feelings Okay

by Cas_actually_writes



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: ? - Freeform, Blind Character, Established Relationship, F/M, Pillow Talk, Pining, casual nudity, written by a sighted person so like. Sorry if i fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28948068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_actually_writes/pseuds/Cas_actually_writes
Summary: Justice has a lot of thoughts about this whole. Romance thing.
Relationships: Anders & Justice (Dragon Age), Anders/Female Hawke, Female Hawke/Justice (Dragon Age), Hawke & Justice (Dragon Age), fuck you they're friends - Relationship, little bit - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Justice Has A Lot Of Feelings Okay

Anders was fast asleep. Scorra Hawke wrapped in his arms. Normally, sleep was a peaceful time for Justice. But tonight, he felt painfully awake. There was no going back. He knew this. Tonight was the first of many. And who was he to deny his friend of something that filled him with such warmth, such happiness.

It was different when he had the remnants of Kristoff’s love in his head. It was, _overwhelming_ feeling Anders love for her. It was a steady constant whenever she was around. Even as he slept, Justice could feel waves of it, crashing against him.

And Justice. Justice, was not jealous. Jealousy was of demons. He was no demon. But he, he wanted.

Justice rarely took control. Controlling mortals was what demons did. And he refused to be a demon. It was only in moments of pure rage, or when Anders retreated away from himself, that Justice truly showed.

Except. Was there any harm in doing it now? Just to see. See what it felt like. To be held and be loved.

Scorra’s arms were wrapped around his waist, her head on his shoulder, tucked under his chin. His, Anders hand was tangled in her hair, the other firmly around her waist. It was... nice. Pleasant. Warm and comfortable.

The same ache he found when he thought of Kristoff and his wife had returned. His throat tightened. This wasn’t his. This was Anders. Anders had already done so much, would continue doing so much. It was selfish for him to take something that brought him joy for himself.

But, he’d allow this selfishness. Just this once.

His grip around Scorra tighten. Nether of them wanted to loss her. And that thought was terrifying.

Some scared child calling him a demon had nearly made him lash out awfully. If not for Scorra’s presence, he wouldn’t have realized until it was too late. He’d spent all this time warning Anders, this could only end in tragedy he was sure. But maybe he was the one that needed warning.

Scorra shifted in her sleep. Justice froze.

“Everything okay?” She murmured still half asleep.

Justice remain deathly silent. Would she wake Anders if he retreated? He couldn’t speak or she’d know it was him.

“Justice?” Scorra asked softly. “What’s going on?” She seemed worried. But about him. Justice was surprised by how confident she seemed that everything else was okay. She didn’t even seem to be concerned about her safety with him.

“How did you know it was me?” Justice’s voice was always much deeper, more gravelly than Anders.

Scorra smiled softly, pulling back slightly and opening her eyes to look at him, which seemed quite pointless to him. “You feel different.” She said simply.

“What?”

“I can always feel traces of you in Anders, and I can feel traces of Anders in you now but. There’s a difference between a fade spirit and a mage’s magics.”

“I. Don’t think I understand how your magic works.’

Scorra only smiled wider. “Don’t worry. Not many people do. It’s a sixth sense. Or fifth for me I guess.” She shrugged slightly. “Do you think you could understand smell if someone described it to you and you didn’t know it?’

Justice considered it. “I’m not sure.”

“Yeah. It’s difficult. I understand how sight works. I’ve had more than enough explanations. But imaging it? I can’t really imagine what things look like.”

“Why do you look at people?”

“What?” Scorra seemed taken aback by the question. Justice hoped she wasn’t offended.

“You opened your eyes and pulled back to look at me. I understand mortals like looking at each other’s faces when speaking but...”

“I can’t see either way so why bother?” She finished.

“Yes.”

“You answered your own question actually. Because people like to look in the face of the person they’re talking to. Moving my head towards the source of noise isn’t difficult for me. I can’t exactly look them in the eyes though.”

“So you do it purely for others comfort?”

“Yeah.”

“Why bother? You should not inconvenience yourself purely for others comfort.”

Scorra smiled. “It’s not exactly going out of my way. I appreciate the thought. But I promise you. Moving my head a bit isn’t much of an issue. Besides, it feels natural to me, and it’s certainly habit. It would be more of an inconvenience to stop.” She paused. “Besides people tell me my smile is pretty.”

Her smile was very pretty. A silence fell over the two of them.

“So. You going to tell me why you’re awake in the middle of the night?”

“Spirits don’t sleep.”

Scorra rolled her eyes. “Anders does. And I know for a fact you’re not out and about all the time he’s asleep.”

Justice paused. Vaguely he was aware that neither of them had moved very far, just pulled back far enough to look at each other. Or. For him to look at her. Would she hate him if he told the truth? Find him weird? Would she want to stay away from Anders to stay away from him? Would Anders ever forgive him if that were the case? Would he ever forgive himself?

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m just curious.” She paused. “And a little concerned about you.”

“I. This is. Confusing.” Justice settled on. “I want to understand.”

“What is it that confuses you?”

“All of it.” He breathed.

“Life is pretty confusing.” Scorra agreed. And after a brief pause. “Love too.”

“Anders loves you.”

“I know.” Her smile got brighter. “I know that now. Does that bother you?”

“I don’t know.” Did it bother him? Was that the issue? What was his problem?

Scorra sighed. “Anders said, you think I’m a distraction?”

“You are.”

“Thanks for the ego boost.” She muttered to herself.

“That isn’t fair.” Justice found himself muttering. “You’ve helped us. A lot.”

“It’s okay to not spend every second fighting you know.”

“What?”

“I don’t know about spirits, but I know humans need rest. And everything that’s going on in Kirkwall is so shit. You can’t go all in all the time or there’ll be nothing left.”

“Are you saying I should stop fighting?” Justice was more perplexed than mad.

“No.” Scorra said firmly. She sighed. “You know about mana right? And how there’s only so much? It’s the same for all of a persons energy. Take it from me, I run around Kirkwall solving everyone else’s problems for them day in day out. Its _exhausting_. Some days I just can’t make myself care.” She paused. “You can’t save someone who’s drowning if you’re also drowning. Taking time to rest. To relax, and to allow yourself some happiness is important. Fun fact. After like. Four hours? You get way less productive, and it only goes further down from there.”

“Hmm.” She had a point. A very good point.

“Just think about that okay. Taking a step back every now and then doesn’t mean you don’t care.” Her hand cupped his face. “Your just one man and a spirit. You can’t fix all the injustice in the world. And you’ve both already done so much.”

“...Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.”

“I must apologize. I, I believe I have caused you distress in the past. That was. Unjust of me.”

“Water under the bridge. Don’t worry about it.”

Justice’s brow furrowed. “Are you certain?”

“I’m sure. I’m just glad we’re seeing eye to eye now.”

Contentment. That’s what he was feeling at the moment. It was nice.

There was another stretch of silence, long enough that Justice thought Scorra had fallen asleep.

“Are you still confused?”

“What?”

“I asked what was going on and you said you were confused. That wasn’t just about being a distraction was it?” It wasn’t much of a question. Scorra saw right through him.

“No it wasn’t.” He admitted. “Everything is easy in the fade. Straightforward. I am Justice and I seek out injustices and fix them. Here. Here it is so much more complicated.”

“Funny, most people say the reverse. Here everything makes sense. The fade is complicated and strange. I guess it’s all a matter of perspective.”

“I’m not used to feelings.” Justice confessed. “I don’t. I still don’t understand them.”

Scorra laughed softly. “I’ve been in the physical world a lot longer than you have and they still trip me up sometimes. Feelings are hard.”

“Feeling confuse you at times?”

“Absolutely. I’m sure there are times they confuse Anders too. Sometimes you have a feeling you can’t name. Sometimes you feel something and you don’t know why. It’s all just a mess.”

“At times, it is difficult to tell if it is Anders or if it’s me. It is. Strange. Never truly being alone.”

“Okay you know what. I’ll make you a deal.”

Justice was utterly perplexed at the sudden change of tone.

“You explain to me as best as you can how you and Anders whole thing works. And I’ll explain my magic sense as best as I possibly can to you.”

Justice blinked. “I- okay?”

Scorra beamed at him.

“You know you could ask Anders this?”

“Yeah but right now you’re here. And honestly I think you actually have a better gasp of the situation then he does.”

“Well. It’s complicated.”

“No shit.”

Justice glared at her. Scorra remained utterly unaffected.

“We. Aren’t separate people anymore. Not entirely.” Justice searched all his knowledge for something to help explain it. “It’s like. Those circle diagrams. Where there’s separate parts but there’s also overlap. But I think even the parts of us that are separate were changed by each other.”

“How does the control of the body thing work?”

“It’s Anders body. I don’t. I don’t want to intrude. So I mostly sit back and ‘watch’. I’m aware of what happens. Sometimes though. I. The injustice is too much, I, shove Anders back.”

Scorra hummed understanding. “He’s mentioned he can’t remember what happens.”

“I don’t. I don’t intend to...”

“Well. We can work on that then.” Scorra offered.

“I don’t know how to.”

“Well. Maybe we can start with anger management?”

Justice barked a laugh.

“I suppose it is kind of absurd offering anger management to a spirit.” She said, laughter in her voice.

“Indeed.”

A few moments passed.

“Do you think, you could both be in control at once?” Scorra asked.

That gave him pause. “I am. Unsure. We’ve never tried.”

“Do you think you could also have it so that Anders ‘watches’” Scorra snorts a laugh, cheeks reddening. “I mean. Like. You said you’re aware when Anders is in control. Do you think if you took control, when it’s calmer. Like now, but Anders is awake, he could be aware?”

“I... suppose. It. Might be nice.”

Scorra smiled. “That’d be a conversation to have with Anders.” A pause as she considered something. “How do you and Anders communicate?”

“It’s not the same as a conversation.” He started. “Mostly, it’s feelings, images and memories. And the occasional thought.” He paused. “I think I actually scared Anders once...”

“Hm?”

Justice sighed. “Frankly. I don’t see this, relationship ending well. For two mages in this world. In this city. I am worried, one way or another, this will end tragically. And I don’t want Anders hurt.”

Scorra looked solemn. “You’re not wrong. I don’t think this is doomed. But. It is a risk. But I’ve decided the risk is worth it for me. Obviously Anders has done the same.”

“I am unsure of the wisdom of that choice. But it isn’t my choice to make.” Justice said. “Originally when I tried to convey this belief to Anders... I think... It came across as a threat.”

“Ahh.” Realization dawned. “So that’s where the ‘drown us in a river of blood’ comment came from.” She half laughed.

Justice’s brows furrowed. “What’s funny?”

“Sorry, it’s just. It was such a weird thing to say. Really sweet. I mean. The sentiment was really sweet. But how the fuck was I supposed to respond to that.”

“I don’t know. But I think ‘thank you’ was not the ideal one.”

“Fair.”

“You aren’t scared of me.” Justice observed.

Scorra blinked. “No I’m not. What about it?”

“I just told you Anders believes I made a threat on your life. You don’t seem at all concerned by that.”

“Well, generally. If you did want to kill me you’d have tried by now. We’ve been talking for a while. And also people don’t usually give their potential victims warning. Unless they’re actively threatening for some reason. And in general you just seem reasonable.” She paused. “Also bold of you to assume you’d win against me.”

That startled a laugh out of him.

“Why? Should I be worried.” It wasn’t a question. Scorra seemed utterly convinced she needn’t be.

“No.” Justice suprised himself with his own conviction. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to see you hurt at all.” A part of him he was unaware of relaxed. “I-” He opened his mouth a few times. “I think I care for you.”

“I care for you too.”

“You care for Anders.” Justice was not bitter. No. He wasn’t. So why did he sound so bitter.

“I love Anders. I care about you.” Scorra said firmly.

“You barely know me...”

“I know enough.”

“...Thank you.”

“No need for thanks.” She yawned. “Okay I am tired. It is the middle of the night.”

“You did never explain your sense to me.”

“Another time then. Maybe clothes next time though.” She joked half heartedly.

“Oh. I forgot that was something that mattered.”

Scorra snorted. “If I really minded I would have mentioned it earlier.”

“I apologize regardless.”

“Do you, share memories with Anders?”

“...what?”

“I was just wondering if he was gonna be aware of this conversation in the morning. Also like. The whole nakedness thing is pretty moot when I figured you are at least somewhat knowledgeable about the sex.”

It turned out, when not possessing a corpse, spirits can blush. “I uh... yes... I don’t know if Anders will be aware. I haven’t really done this before. But uh. Yes. I did my best not to intrude but... I can only be so unaware...”

“Well I guess that’s one way to explore a voyeurism kink.” She said to herself.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Scorra yawned again, Justice got the distinct impression it wasn’t a real yawn this time. “It’s past my bed time.”

Justice blinked. “Yes. Sleep is important.”

“You rest too.”

“I will.”

Scorra snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes.

Love filled his chest watching her. Not all of it was Anders’.

Slowly he retreated into the background of their shared mind.

Anders had been so quiet, Justice hadn’t noticed he’d awoken. How long had he been awake? Why hadn’t he asked Justice to move aside?

Anders kissed the top of Scorra’s head.

“Past your bed time too.” She murmured

“I’m an adult. I don’t have a bed time.” Anders smiled.

“Well maybe you should have one.” Scorra snuggled deeper into his chest. “Girlfriend says its too fucking late for any more conversation.”

Anders laughed. “Fair enough.” And then softer. “Thank you, for talking to him.”

Oh, that’s why.

“s’no problem. Talk in the mornin ‘kay?”

“Talk to you tomorrow.” Anders closed his eyes and began drifting off to sleep. His eyes snapped open. “I’m kinkshaming.”

“Fuck off”


End file.
